Yeah...obviously I'm pregnant, not that anyone reads this blog, so this is probably the end of my little infertility rants. I thought about posting all my preggo stuff on this blog but instead I'll just be posting on my regular blog here.

Yay!

I'm still here...

and I'll be back...soon.

So I found out last night that Claire, Dylan's wife, is pregnant. Sara is pregnant and just announced it to everyone. Tessah (at work) is pregnant...and on and on it goes it seems. I'm happy for all these people, but at the same time whenever I hear something like that, about someone being pregnant, close to me or not, a little nagging devil starts to wiggle around inside me, screaming in my head "they're pregnant and so happy but you're NOT," "hey, just a reminder in case you forgot, you're NOT pregnant," "Sara will have 2 kids in the amount of time you have been trying to have just one," "Claire and Tessah were both bitching about not being able to get pregnant, and I talked to them about it, and they compared themselves to me, yet here they are, knocked up in only, what 6 months of trying? You have been trying for more than THREE times that long..." and so on. The devil won last night, and I cried.

I'm not optimistic about this round of Clomid at all. My temps are way off, and the computer is saying that I didn't ovulate until Day 19, which probably means that it didn't work at all, because even then the Temps aren't really what should be expected, not like last month's. So, yeah, I totally expect to get my period next week and start Round 3, my final round (and hope) of anything working this summer, if not then I wait until October before moving on to the next thing, and that depresses me to no end. I do not want to cross that bridge, this one has been hard enough.

I've also decided that I'm done being "jokey" about this around people, it's been going on 2 years (or longer depending how you look at it), and it's not funny anymore, espeically not to me. I do it to make it less uncomfortable for other people, but I'm done doing it for them, it's not genuine and it's not true to my real feelings, which are painful and worrysome and hard to deal with.

So that's what's been going on during Round 2.

Bust.

1st round = Nada.

Stupid me thought it would work the first time, no problem. Hopes up high and everything.

"Yeah right!" the Universe said, "you aren't getting away that easy!"

2nd round here I come.

1st cycle done...

So I went to the doctor today to find out if the first round of Clomid worked and by the looks of it, it worked quite well. My chart was reading just as expected (which gave me a good feeling as time went on), and he said that my progesterone level was "really good" (78.5, whatever that means), so it appears as though I ovulated (cue singing choir angels, Hallellujah!)

Now, whether or not that means I'll get pregnant is another story. Right now I'm just waiting for the dreaded flow to start and indicate that this month was a bust, move on to the next. The doctor gave me 2 more prescriptions for the clomid, said take 'em if you need 'em, and if they don't work (ie: I'm not pregnant), to 'take a break' for 3 months then come back to see him....soooo, if I don't get pregnant within the next 2 months I'll have to wait until October or so to try the next thing. Pressure much?

So, that's about it. Of course, I'm hoping for a lack of period and a positive sign next week, but I'm not holding my breath, after all this time I doubt it's going to be that easy. But we shall see.

Good news, I suffered no side effects whatsoever, and it was fairly easy to do, so all in all I can't complain about the Clomid Experience.

Be back once I have news, good or bad I guess.

No eggies.

I'm at work and been slacking way too long, so I'll make this short. Went to the doctor yesterday and:

-Dan's sperm is fine.
-My bloodwork indicates that I'm not ovulating.
-Going to start my 1st round of Clomid this cycle.
-Going back to see him on Day 28 of my cycle to see how I responded to the treatment.

So, that's about it in a nutshell. I'm pretty excited to get started actually, 'cause it might actually work...maybe not though, from what I've read it's only a 30-50% success rate, so still pretty low, but it's better than nothing I suppose.

I'm also annoyed/worried right now because I'm 6 days late (no, not pg, took a test on Wednesday before going to the doc's), so I'm really hoping that my periods aren't going to disappear again like they did in 2007. It would just be appropriate for that to happen though, just to spite me. Now that I actually need my period to start this treatment, it decides to not show up, so that I'll have to go back to my family doc to try and kickstart that again, wasting another 3 months...ok, I'm going to stop, trying to think positively.

So that's the situation now. Am I happy about it? Not overly, but like I said, I'm hopeful. I can't wait to get started basically. Get this show on the road.

I'll update once I start the Clomid to report any side effects or interesting-ness....or if I become forced to move 2 steps back and try to regulate my cycles again (seriously, I was regular for 9 months before this!!)

I'm out.

ETA: So funny when things happen like that. Pretty much immediately after I wrote this I started spotting and I'm now on Day 1 of my cycle. So that's great news, one less thing to worry about. It was just a long cycle (47 days!) So as it looks now I'll be visiting the doc at the end of the month to see how things go, wish me luck!!