Thursday, December 11, 2008

Another boy, oh boy...

Just a quick note to say that today Jonas, my 4th nephew (in a row!) was born. Selena and Tom are very happy, she thought it was going to be a boy (as did everyone else mostly), so I'm assuming she was happy at the result. 8 pounds, 10 ounces, so a big little guy, but he seems healthy and we're all eagerly await new pics of him this weekend! Congrats guys!

Now, how does this make me feel? Happy, of course, I couldn't stop awwing when I found out, but of course, at the same time, as with anytime I hear about a baby being born or someone I know getting pregnant, I get a little sad as well because it reminds me of what I don't have. Now, Selena has gone through infertility issues way beyond anything I'm experiencing right now, so I know that no one deserves this more than her, she supports me in ways that most people can't/don't, but all the same, I'm sad and I think "why can't that be me?" We've been trying just as long as they have (for their 2nd), but I'm trying not to think that, our time will come as well, I just don't know when...


On a completly non-baby related note, I'm really liking this guy's music. So calm, so pretty, so sorrowful, which kinda suits my mood right now, happy/sad.

That's all. Welcome Jonas!

EDIT: About 15 mins after I wrote this, I went to bed and I cried. Big, fat tears, sobs, the whole thing... I cried hard for about 3 mins and then it was over, the tears dried up. Not sure what that was all about, a combination of too much sad piano music and an unknowing husband and hormones maybe. Or maybe what I'm feeling inside just made it to the surface for a bit. I don't let that happen all that often, and when it does I usually try to stop it immediately (hence the 3 minute time limit), but sometimes I really just can't control it. Whether it's directly related to this whole thing or not is another question, but this post triggered something, that I can be certain of.

That's all.

No comments: